Blood on Metal: Where I Talk About Horror, Heavy Metal, Pop Culture, Art, and A Bunch of Other Stuff: Unique Singers

Blood on Metal: Where I Talk About Horror, Heavy Metal, Pop Culture, Art, and A Bunch of Other Stuff: Unique Singers:             Usually when discussing singers I, and just about everyone else, will analyze them in accordance to vocal range, impact, and ...

Never Ending Thoughts Sometimes I blurt out my thoughts without stopping to soften my words or make sure I am not stepping on any toes but I never intentionally plan my words to strike with pain. I never purposely use my words in place of a sword to spear anyone in the heart but alas, I am sure it occasionally happens. I read a post on Facebook today that left me wondering about the opinions we are all so eager to share at times. This particular post stated, “Marriage is a union created for procreation. If you can't have children you shouldn't get married.” I wonder if the person who wrote that statement has any idea of how many infertile couples there are in the world and how many tears have been shed because couples haven't been blessed with a child. I tried, when my children were still under my care, to teach them about ignorance, the cruelty one human could inflict on another, and prejudice. I wanted them to rise above these things. How many women would know they were incapable of conceiving until they tried to conceive, which is normally after the marriage vows have been taken? I am not sure how this post was meant but I can assure you it caused many women who saw it to feel unworthy and hurt. I have also had a dream on my mind all day. I dreamed it last night and many other nights previously. I was trying to fold my mother’s wheelchair and get it into the back of my truck but I wasn't able to lift it. No one seemed to see me as they passed by chattering about where they were going to eat after they left the doctor’s office or which mall they were going to visit later in the evening. I felt nameless and faceless and when I looked at myself in the side mirror of the truck I realized I was no longer the woman I used to be. I have this dream many nights but the truth is I often feel like an actress playing a role because I am not doing much of anything for myself. Somewhere along the line, while standing in line at the pharmacy, consulting with doctors, crying myself to sleep at times, and sometimes falling asleep in a chair and waking up with a stiff neck, my steps have slowed and I have started to roll out of bed and jump to active duty without so much as running a brush through my hair. I am no longer a woman standing out in front of the crowd and directing others. These days I am living more in the shadows of my responsibilities. Most of the time, if someone should ask how I feel, I respond “Fine, thank you.” I say this even if I have only had two hours of sleep or my joints are all throbbing like a toothache. I reply that I'm okay even if my feelings have been hurt or I feel tired and alone. Even when I feel like crap, mentally and physically, I say I'm fine to spare the feelings of those I care about. But if I slip up and say, “I feel like I've been run over by a truck and it kept backing up to run over me again,” I have made someone else feel bad because I admitted I am not fine. You know, it’s not easy to watch someone you love in pain every single day. It’s not easy to be tied to the house because you're afraid no one else can take care of them like you do. I can take Ibuprofen for the joints that ache and the headache that threatens to make my head explode but there are no drugs or numbing agents to help with the day to day struggles that come with being a caretaker. I spend my “free time” trying to run errands, making phone calls, making sure all the prescriptions have been filled for an entire family, preparing food, sometimes dropping off food, worrying about my pets, my neighbors, my extended family, insurance forms, paying bills, and often answering the same questions over and over again. Maybe someday I'll have the time to finish all of the work I have in progress. Maybe someday I'll stop dreaming about eroding like a sculpture in the middle of great sand storms. Maybe someday I won't have to feel guilty when I say, “I hurt all over,” instead of saying, “I'm fine.” For now, I'll just go back to being thankful someone bothers to ask how I am even if they don't really want to know. For the record, I'm doing just fine. ©Dianna Doles Petry

My Role as a Mother

My Role as a Mother

The last few weeks of my life have filled me with self-reflection and memories. My son’s long-term girlfriend informed him she wanted to end their relationship. She did this on Valentine’s Day right after a long romantic dinner and gift exchange. I have no doubt that my son will eventually move past the initial pain and trauma of this failed relationship and get on with his life. He sometimes dreams impractical dreams but he has a desire to follow those dreams and it keeps him motivated. I tried to see his girlfriend through his eyes but when I heard her laugh at the idea of having a child I will admit to having to take a deep breath and counting to ten before I said another word about anything.

 Two young women in my extended family are going through divorces and dealing with custody issues. One of those two young women gave birth just eight days ago. I have no doubt that the fathers involved in the divorces both love their children. Still, there is a bond between mother and child that no one else can build no matter how hard they try. A mother carries her child for nine months. The child knows her scent, the beat of her heart, and the sound of her voice by the time of the birth. Even adopted children form a bond with their adopted mothers. No other voice or touch ever takes the place of the one that caresses you, comforts you, and sometimes even scolds you when you’re a child.

Being a mother is not always easy. Trust me; there were many mothering moments in my life that were definitely not “Kodak” moments.  For instance, every year on Christmas Eve I ended up at the local emergency room with my daughter. Her nerves got the best of her as Christmas Day approached and she would begin vomiting on Christmas Eve. I never had to worry about her catching Santa in the act as he delivered packages. He had always been down the chimney and was gone by the time we made it back home in the wee hours of Christmas morning. By the time she was seven years-old the nursing staff had a small gift waiting for her when we got there.

Her father was never much help when she was throwing up. In fact, if he came within eye sight of her vomiting, he quickly headed for another bathroom in the house to throw up himself. I won’t even mention the lovely shade of green he took on when the scent of a freshly filled diaper hit the air anywhere within a few feet of him.

One day my son was playing in the neighbor’s yard and I heard him scream out in pain. I saw him fall to the ground and as I headed in that direction he got to his feet, grabbed the back of his head, and started toward me.  No one really knew how but apparently there was a large rock wedged in a tree in the neighbor’s yard. There was a group of children playing hide-and-seek and when my son ran to touch the tree they were using as home base, the rock fell and smashed into the back of his head. I’m not talking about a small rock either.

I immediately grabbed a white towel, soaked it with ice cold water, and placed it on the back of his head. Blood soaked the towel immediately and my son looked at me and said, “Mom, am I going to die?”

“Not on my watch, Son,” I said with false confidence.  I ushered him to the vehicle and was headed off to the hospital before his father was even sure of what had happened.  Eighteen stitches later we returned home to find his father sitting at the dining room table staring at the rock that had hit my son in the head. I wanted to crush the rock with a sledge hammer. His father wanted to take it to work and show everybody what had come out of a tree and hit his son in the head. Men and women think on different wave lengths.

I’ve been the one who nursed broken hearts, upset stomachs, and helped to hide a blemish that developed the morning senior portraits were to be done. I’ve heard doors slammed in frustration, eased self-doubts in teenagers, and cried with my children when they were hurting either physically or emotionally. I have given talks and lectures about the birds and the bees and sat with tear filled eyes explaining death.

I have also been the one to call my children to the mat when they did something dumb or tried to make excuses when there were no excuses for what they had done. I’ve helped them through selfish periods, bouts of immaturity, temper tantrums, and vulnerability.  I’ve doled out discipline and I’ve handed out bandages, hugs, and compassion as needed.

I’m not saying their father didn’t love them. I’m just saying that fathers tend to react differently to things than women do. God left the task of motherhood to women for a reason. Women are nurturers and caretakers by nature. Men are normally the providers and the protectors.

All of my children, the ones I birthed and the ones I gave my heart to by choice, have been blessings to me and each one of them have been my reason for getting up every day and trying to make the world a better place for all of us. 

Most women bring children into this world because children give back the love you give them without being disgusted by your flabby arms or your ten year-old car. With a child in your life the world doesn’t seem quite so unfriendly. I knew my role as a mother meant I had a chance to teach my children tolerance, compassion, and how to think outside of the box.  I knew I had to teach my children to make good choices about how to make their place in the world a happy place. My own children are adults now but I still possess my mothering instincts.

The young women I have here with me during this dark spot in their lives are both good mothers. I see it when I watch them with their children.  I have watched this young mother with the eight day-old infant change every diaper, prepare every bottle, and hold the baby to her chest to comfort the infant and herself. 

To be needed, to have someone who needs you to hold them, to have someone to guide through life and learn from your mistakes and teach you as they make new mistakes is what being a parent is all about. What could I do except welcome these young mothers into my home and my heart? I could do nothing else because I will be a mother to the world until I take my last breath. I would have it no other way!

© Dianna Doles Petry

After Labor Day

 

 

It took me several minutes of digging around in my purse this evening to find my vehicle keys so I could drive to work. Rain was steadily falling and I was sure it would bring down some tree limbs all along the route I drive to work each evening. As much as I had enjoyed the weekend I felt my mood turning more and more somber as the time for me to leave the house drew closer. Normally, I look forward to going to work but this evening I would have been content to stay home and watch the world pass me by as I looked through the front room window.

Today was Labor Day and the reality of summer coming to an end is no longer deniable. While I will not miss the extreme heat we experienced this summer I cannot say I’m looking forward to the long cold and barren days of winter. The beautiful flowers I’ve cherished since late spring will soon be bitten by Jack Frost and the rebirth and new beginning of another season in life will take charge and hold us all hostages until it weakens and fades away. That is the way of life and just thinking about the change of the season causes me to reflect on my life and all the changes I’ve experienced.

The last two days have been wonderful. My son arrived home late Friday evening and my daughter and son-in-law arrived Saturday afternoon. My daughter and her husband had just returned from a trip to Rhode Island and they arrived with coolers filled with lobsters, clams, and scallops. Hugs, love, and laughter were plentiful in the house on Saturday as my daughter and my son took over the kitchen and prepared a seafood feast. There was a time when I would have been trying to clean water rings from beneath glasses while people were still drinking from them and trying to keep every utensil and bowl washed as it was being used but not this weekend. For this occasion, I stood back and enjoyed the interaction between my son and my daughter as they worked together like two well oiled pieces of machinery doing a job they had been designed to do. Wasn’t it only a few years ago that I was hearing, “Mom, can you make me a sandwich? School was a beast today and I’m starved!”

My son was the first to leave the house this morning for the trip back to Pittsburgh. He had already loaded up his two fur babies and his luggage when he grabbed me in a bear hug and held on tightly for longer than he normally does. He turned and headed for his car stopping one last time to look back at me standing on the front porch before he slid behind the steering wheel. His last wave good-bye as he drove off was not the enthusiastic wave he offered when he was first leaving home for the big city. His wave today was born of being torn between his new life and determination to succeed and his desire to remain my little boy at the same time. Who said growing up was going to be all fun? Wasn’t it just a short time ago that my young man would be filled with frustration and in an effort to ease that frustration, pick up an ax and head off to the woods where he would land blow after wood splintering blow to a tree until we had too much firewood for the fire pit and he had no energy left to use for anger?

Next to leave was my Goddaughter. How in the world did she change so quickly from being a little tomboy with pigtails in her hair to a beautiful sixteen year-old with plans for college? It seems like only yesterday she was standing at the fence as she intently watched two young boys just waiting for any possible opportunity to join them while they rode their bikes, or better yet, have them come back into the yard to swing her around and around like an airplane or help her climb up the ladder to the slide over and over again until they were all exhausted? Wasn’t it just a few years ago that her lower lip was constantly protruding in a pout and her favorite activity was running away with grandma’s television remote so someone would have to chase her down to get it?

The last to leave was my daughter, my first born, my first real joy as well as my first real challenge. She was always impetuous and full of questions, fragile with a determination forged of titanium, wore her heart on her sleeve but defended her family with enough courage to rival any knight. Wasn’t it just a short time ago that she was learning to drive, developing new tastes in music, baby sitting and bringing the children home with her for lunch, and soon after, falling in love for the first time?

Friends and family filled my home with love and laughter all weekend but today I had to fight an empty feeling from taking up residence in my heart as the cars pulled out of the driveway. Walking back into the house felt a bit like walking into a morgue; far too quiet, unsettling, the silence almost deafening!

My life has taken many turns through the years. Most of the paths I envisioned myself taking always seemed off course and the paths I did end up taking I never really planned at all. Everything changes, sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worst, but nothing stays the same forever. These days I am working a full time job, still a care giver to my eighty-nine year old mother, experiencing aches and pains in places I don’t even remember having, and oddly enough, missing things I once thought of as irritating. Still, I am blessed in many ways, still standing, and still smiling.

I miss the noise and commotion a house filled with children brings. I miss the door slamming shut oodles of times every day. I miss the constant stream of teenagers and even their appetites which left me in the poor house more than a few times. Would you believe I even miss cleaning the floors at two in the morning because that was the only time I could do it without someone walking across them to get to the refrigerator? Well, I do.

I miss having people always at hand to talk to, being able to share my thoughts about a book or movie, and most of all; I miss the feeling of accomplishing something every day just because I made them smile. I am really thankful they have cell phones so I can keep in contact with them as often as we need to talk to each other. I am also really thankful for the friends who still come home to let me share their lives as their “other mom.”

The nice thing about this time of the year is having several holidays in a close time frame. I had better start planning the holiday menus now. No matter where they go, what they accomplish, or who they spend their time with, they are still my family and my family is always the most important thing on my mind. The seasons will continue to change and we will change with them. As long as we are here to go through those changes we can still change the path we’re on at any time. The important thing is to never forget the way back home!





Guard House Reflections

3/25/12

Guard House Reflections

Annoying Sales Associates

It’s Sunday night and I’m on duty. The night is quiet except for rain drops tapping against the window panes. In the distance the red lights of railroad crossing arms flicker and from here they are blurred into a fuzzy red line that reminds me of the red correction marks my high school English teacher used in class to show us what needed to be studied.

Moments earlier the train jerked forward almost violently before slowing to start off in the opposite direction. That movement sparked thoughts of life experiences and how quickly things can change. I guess we all have everyday life experiences that annoy us or threaten to drive us mad if we give in to the unexpected.

A couple of weeks ago I was talking to my son on the telephone and during the course of the conversation he said, “Mom, sometimes I feel like I don’t do enough for my customers but there are a few customers that make me wish I could strangle them or hang myself.”

My son is a recent college graduate now working at Sears. The job has nothing at all to do with his chosen field but it is an honest job and he is meeting quite a few interesting people. He is also working with a real estate company to film property in a favorable light for potential clients and an insurance company doing goodness only knows what. He is frustrated that he went to college and can’t find one good paying job that would cover his expenses and student loans.

He mentions some of his customers as if they were neighbors living close to him as he grew up. He frets when an elderly person has a heavy package to carry and he is always concerned that people are standing in line too long. He cannot understand why some people expect far more from sales people than others do.  When he voiced his concerns to me I replied, “Son, you’re doing your best.” I meant that sincerely because I know he really is giving his best to his job.

I confess there has been many times over the years when I’ve stood in a store and been a totally frustrated customer because finding a sales associate was next to impossible. In fact, finding a hen with a mouth full of teeth would have been easier most of the time. I won’t even mention the time I considered stripping off to stand naked with a T-bone steak tied around my neck to get someone to help me carry a Christmas tree out of the store.

Then there are the overly dedicated sales people like the one I found in a chain outfit store this past week. I would hide myself away from the public if I ever thought my son had turned into this type of creature.

I walked into the store with the intention of checking the new models of lawn mowers and as well as their pricing. I was barely into the store when a sales person stepped in front of me and blocked my path. I’m telling you, this guy was like a dog in heat. He could barely contain himself. “Is there anything I can help you with today? I’m sure I can be of assistance to you. How about if I just walk along with you and answer any questions you might have today?”  I can only assume the man gets a commission on any sales he makes.

I’m also taking a wild guess that he picked me out of the customers on hand as the one most likely to make a purchase. Maybe geriatric citizens using walkers to get around can’t carry much or maybe he is intimidated by the men with cut off t-shirts, tattoos, and baseball caps. I’m not sure but for whatever reason I guess he thought a woman dressed in blue jeans and worn sneakers who hadn’t had time to put on make-up or style her hair was there to lay down some real money.

To be honest, for a minute there he was so excited about helping me that I looked down to make sure I didn’t have a boob hanging out or a hundred dollar bill pinned to my ample assets.  “No, thank you,” I replied to him without looking him straight in the eye. “I’m just browsing today and I’ll be fine.  I appreciate your offer though.”

I started to walk toward the lawn and garden area of the store and once again the sales person blocked my path. In fact, he jumped in front of me so fast and hard his feet made a thud sound when they hit the floor.  “Now just let me know if you need anything at all.” He nearly sang this proclamation while wearing a full face smile that was as fake as any three dollar bill. About the only thing missing from his act was a bee-gum hat and claw hammer coat.

I stepped to the side and continued to walk toward my destination. He walked behind me and proceeded to stand directly behind me while I looked at lawn mowers and accessories that go with them. If I paused for a short time to read an information pamphlet about one of the machines he seized the opportunity to tell me how great the product is, how long it would be on sale, and how many of that particular item was left in stock. According to him, the store didn’t appear to have more than two of anything and would probably be closed due to lack of inventory by early evening if the pensioners got checks that day and showed up to buy supplies.

I was beginning to feel like a jewel thief attempting to heist diamonds at that point. I looked at the salesman and asked in a quizzical tone, “You do realize that none of these machines would fit in my purse don’t you?”

“You’re a funny one, Miss.” He folded his arms across his chest and continued.”We just want to please our customers and we offer all the support we can to make sure each customer is satisfied.” He winked at me and that’s when I noticed the small finishing hammer hanging from a belt loop on his trousers.

“So you like to do carpentry work? I was just noticing your hammer. If you are supposed to be in another area of the store I understand. I’ll be fine here.”

I am sure I saw dollar signs flash though the pupils of his eyes as he winked and started to move closer to me and whisper, “We can give some discounts on floor displays if they have dings or scratches. I’ll help you all I can if you buy one of these displays.”

He looked up and down the aisle before using his hammer to make a nice sized dent in the deck of the mower he had seen me looking at very closely.  He turned and winked at me again. I’m surprised I didn’t have a hissy-fit right there in the store but I retained my composure and headed for the exit doors so I wouldn’t do the man bodily harm.

I didn’t buy a lawn mower but then I hadn’t planned to make a purchase that day when I went into the store. I definitely wouldn’t have bought one from that sales associate. I found it unnerving that he was stalking me and trying to pressure me into making a purchase.

Sometimes I just want to go into the store and get what I need and leave. At other times I want to walk around and take my time to get new ideas and maybe price materials I plan to purchase in the near future.  I don’t want to have someone breathing down my back the whole time I’m in the store.

Then as I was leaving the store there was another sales person near the door. “I’m glad we could be of service to you today. Is there anything else I can help you with?”

“As a matter of fact, there is,” I exclaimed. You can help me get our government back into the hands of the people. Make sure you vote!” I said with the biggest smile I could muster.

That was far more lady-like for me to say than what I was really thinking about what they could do for me!

©Dianna Doles Petry

Guard House Thoughts 3/11/2012

Guard House Thoughts
3/11/2012

Here I sit in the guard house again with too much time for thinking. It is a peaceful night with a few sprinkles of rain tapping against the windows sporadically. Frogs are croaking in the distance and traffic has slowed at the evening hours travel toward the beginning of a new day.

I leave a journal here in the guard house for anyone who wishes to write in it. I share many of my thoughts in this journal as well as keeping one of my own. Tonight as I read a few entries that had been written since my last shift my thoughts turned to the movie Forrest Gump. It has been several years since that movie premiered but I think nearly everyone remembers the line; “Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re going to get.”

When I get a box of chocolates it has a little printed diagram on the inside of the lid to the box. By using the diagram it is possible to find your favorite candies and avoid those you haven’t tried or know you don’t like. The chocolates all sit there together in the box but they are all different. They also have no choice in who gets to eat them or if they get eaten at all. Life doesn’t come with a diagram or directions. Would it be better if it did?

We don’t get to pick our family, many of our life experiences, or our DNA. From the moment we are born we operate on a sort of auto-pilot. Instinct plays a large part in every life. Some people are attracted to light hair and some prefer darker shades. Everyone has a preference when it comes to food, colors, and hobbies and either we are driven to succeed or content just to get through each day as it comes.

We do get to make choices but very often they are choices made without full knowledge of what we are choosing. We can’t see the future, we don’t always know about someone else’s past, and we are all eager to find at least one little something in each day that gives us a reason to smile or have that warm and fuzzy feeling of contentment when we close our eyes at night.

Basic courtesy and respect for each other seems to have vanished. We have become so intent on chasing a dollar or finding the love of a lifetime that we seem to have forgotten how to appreciate each other or respect the needs of others to have privacy or moments of emotional upheaval. Maybe we have just become blind to the obvious or maybe we all just try too hard. I think a lot of us set our standards so high that it’s impossible for anyone to meet them. I guess we all need to learn how to get past our own preconceived notions of what life SHOULD be and explore all the possibilities of life COULD be.

Last evening I watched a movie I normally would not have chosen. I tend to avoid movies that will make me cry like a blubbering whale. I tend to avoid movies that make me risk wetting my pants when some hideous creature grabs an unsuspecting victim even though there was music playing that should have warned them. I tend to avoid anything that is too realistically gory or painful and I definitely avoid movies with sappy endings! Thinking about it right now, I tend to avoid movies of all types these days but that is another matter entirely.

At any rate, this movie, “The Way,” did not have a single love scene or high speed car chase. There was no profanity and no sexy leading man to make my heart throb with thoughts I will not share here.  Martin Sheen played the lead role of Tom, a father who loses his only son in a tragic accident in France. When he goes to identify the remains and bring the body back home he changes his mind and decides instead to complete a pilgrimage his adult son had started.

This journey changes Tom’s life and the way he has viewed life up to that point. One of the last things his son had said to him before leaving on his trip was, “You don’t choose a life, you live one.” By the end of the pilgrimage, Tom knew his son had been right all along. It is a strange twist in life that when something we love is taken from us we really start to appreciate what we have always had but failed to see.
I have often dreamed of taking a cross country trip to explore different places and experience new things. I enjoy meeting new people and learning how other people live and no one would know anything about me or the life I’ve lived that has made me who I am today. I would be just another tourist checking out the sites and striking up conversations.

The truth is; I could start expanding my world right here. I could ignore the little diagrams in the box of chocolates and just sample all the pieces instead of sticking with the tried and true. If I wasn’t so sure of what I like I might find a delightful new flavor. I could open my eyes and my heart to the people around me and be more receptive if I could let my armor down just a little bit.

There are at least three employees here who have lost a child to death. That is a blow you never fully get over and yet you have no choice but to continue living. As the song goes, whatever you survive only makes you stronger. Sometimes it is just not easy to comprehend that others feel the same pain you feel or experience the same events you experience. Just knowing there are other people like you does not make your own feelings any less intense.

I’m positive the people I work with have all experienced a vast array of life changes and emotional highs and lows. Love and heartbreak, profound joy and soul shattering sadness, knowing the peak of health and fitness and the decline of the body and capability, success and failure, all dance with each one of us at some point. We are like those pieces of candy in a box. We are all gathered here together but we’re all different.
Why don’t we just try to be polite and kind to each other because we all have different mountains to climb? Why don’t we start to accept ourselves for what we are and let go of those ideas about what would make someone else a better person?

There is no such thing as perfection,
We’re all human, we all have flaws,
Instead of fighting a useless battle,
We could stand together for a cause.

I once thought I needed to be blonde,
Younger, richer, thinner, I never felt quite right,
Then I heard a whisper; I mattered to someone,
I felt beautiful and desired that night.

Now I’ve got some age behind me,
But I can still give and receive love,
I know I can make a difference,
For each day of life I thank God above.


I think I’ll find the movie Forrest Gump and watch it again soon. Forrest was a person born to this world with little hope of becoming a success but he saw simple pleasures and truths most people overlook. He also overlooked a lot of things most people see. My life is forever changing and maybe it really is like a box of chocolates after all.

© Dianna Doles Petry

Letter for my Father

Letter for my Father

The hours were painful and long,

Sitting at the side of your bed,

Reliving years of memories,

Leaving nothing left unsaid.

Your once strong hands feeble,

I was afraid to touch,

So I whispered softly in your ear,

Dad, I love you very much!

I hope you felt my love.

How lucky I was to be your daughter!

You made me strong and proud,

I was blessed to have you as my father.

I can’t forget the twinkle in your eyes,

I talk to you through my tears,

Guess I’ve never really said goodbye,

Even after twenty-three years.

The hours were painful and long,

The days since even longer still,

I miss you from the bottom of my heart,

I know I always will.

© Dianna Doles Petry

1/16/2012

After Christmas...

A few decorations still adorn the house,

Ornaments swatted as if each was a mouse,

Needles from the tree all over the floor,

Just cleaning this mess will leave my body sore.

Leftover cookies, eggnog, and cake,

I give them to friends for my own sake,

For my ample assets have expanded enough,

Finding jeans to fit me could become quite tough.

I hate the silence; the music no longer plays,

My family has all gone their separate ways,

They left me with memories I'll forever keep,

Along with gifts; none of them cheap.

The anticipation of that one day,

Leaves me blue when it goes away,

For after Christmas the cheer is not here,

I long for that feeling all through the year.

I hope they didn't see my eyes fill with tears,

As I relived memories from many other years,

When ribbons and bows flew through the air,

When everyone I loved was gathered there.

The day after Christmas is over for me,

Bright red hearts line shelves for lovers to see,

Valentine's Day will soon come and go,

I wonder if we'll have any fresh fallen snow.

A few decorations still adorn my house,

The rooms are so silent I could hear a mouse,

I close my eyes to hear their voices once more,

Blessed to have such love on Christmas and forever more.

© Dianna Doles Petry
12/26/2011

I am Thankful For...

As we approach the annual Thanksgiving holiday here in America most of us have many reasons to be thankful. The country is experiencing a very depressed economy and the holidays are not very appealing to most of us because we are either feeling the pinch ourselves or know someone close to us who is barely surviving. Still, just being here to face the struggle is a blessing to me. I asked a few of my closest friends to put together a list of things they are grateful for this year. Here is my own list.


I am thankful for my family and for my own fairly good health. I have a few medical issues but at the moment none of them are life threatening and I have the strength to care for others in my family less fortunate than myself. In my younger years I would never have understood what a blessing it is to be able to take care of others but now it is the fuel that keeps my body moving and my heart forever filled with contentment. I am thankful to have my mother still here with us against all odds. She will celebrate her 89th birthday on the 26th, God willing.

I am thankful to be gainfully employed at a reputable company. We all have gripes and concerns with our employment but just to have a job in these trying times is a huge blessing. I cannot say that I am always able to pay every bill the moment it arrives but I am able to rest peacefully knowing there is food in the house and the utilities have been covered.

I am thankful for the many friends who encourage me when I feel like giving up, make me laugh when I feel like crying, and uplift me when my legs are failing. There is no one I have ever met who never needs a friend. I try to be a good friend and I have been blessed with the friendship of many in return. While I sometimes say the wrong thing or fail to notice something someone really wants me to acknowledge, it is never done intentionally. I cherish each and every one of you who reaches out to me through daily contact, email, phone calls, occasional jokes, cards, or even just by remembering me in your thoughts and prayers. My heart aches for those who have no one to call a friend.

I am thankful for my vehicle! I made the last payment and it's still running! Seriously, many people take the privilege to drive for granted but I cannot imagine not being able to get to the market, attend conferences, travel back and forth to work, even just get away from my daily life a few hours.

I am thankful that my son has been able to complete college. He has faced many obstacles on the path to adulthood but he has still managed to get out there and live his life. I am also thankful that my daughter has become a woman I am proud of every day. She is strong, determined, and dedicated to making her life the best it can be. Did I mention she is also beautiful? I am also thankful that my son, Cole, has accomplished more than he expected from himself. I may not have had him from the moment of his birth but he is a part of my heart and soul now and he does make me smile...even if I can't always tell him that. (Wouldn't want his head to swell or make him stop trying!)

I am thankful, and I know this one sounds strange, for people like Betty White. This lady just continues to amaze and inspire me. I see many people in their sixties who think it's time to retire and sit on the porch while the big dogs run without them. Betty, on the other hand, is well into her eighties and she takes on new challenges, stretches her wings with creativity, and never uses her age as an excuse not to do anything, well, except maybe bungee jumping.

I am thankful for my pets. They listen to me when I don't feel I can share my thoughts or heart with a human. They never ask for more than I can give and they treasure me above all others for no more than a bowl of food and a warm place to sleep. I really wish more people understood the way pets think and act. Please just don't tell the dogs I was praising the cats. It could get ugly around here!

I am thankful for every man and woman out there putting on a uniform and putting their lives on the line to keep us safe here at home. While others will be enjoying a bountiful Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow these men and women will be on the job. In fact, even when they sleep they are on the ready and fully alert to do whatever it takes to get their job done. I am proud of every one of them as well as the veterans who have already served their country.

Last but not least...well, actually, it is the least....chocolate! If you promise to give me chocolate you don't have to worry about my handgun or my mood!

Sincerely,
Dianna

November 14, 2011

Okay, just for the record, this is not a political statement. This actually happened to me while I was at work last night. I thought you might get a kick out of it.

A dark blue pick-up truck pulled into the lot and came to a stop right beside of the guard house where I was working. A man of about sixty-five to sixty-eight years of age stepped slowly out of the truck as I walked up to ask him the standard questions concerning what business he had at the site, identification, etc. He was a wiry man with white hair, a wispy white goatee and the most inquisitive eyes I have seen on a man of his age. His face was heavily wrinkled but his attitude was definitely that of a much younger man.

"Miss, I was a wonderin' if you all might need any more security guards around here. I have a lot of snow on the roof but there's still plenty of fire in this old furnace!"

I responded by telling him the coal company itself did not hire the guards and gave him the contact information for the security firm that employs us. I also suggested that he might want to do the same type of work in another environment that would be indoors such as a mall or department store.

"I started to stop here a few times to inquire about work but it wasn't 'til tonight that I took the time to come on in here. I saw you walking out there and I just figured you wouldn't shoot me for asking a question. You got far too pretty of a face to be shooting people for asking questions." At that point I was guessing he had been a farmer because he was great at spreading around manure.

I was giggling and the gentleman started to talk about next year's election and how people on social security were finally getting a cost of living increase this coming January. As my mood turned more serious he asked, "I bet you're pretty good in the kitchen ain't ya?"

I answered with, "Well, I do know my way around the kitchen. I can confess to that."

He immediately responded with, "You ever make republican puddin?"

I was back to giggling. "No sir, I can't say that I have."

"Well girl, you take about a cup of boiled white rice and add about a pint of real milk. Don't use that skim milk crap that don't even leave a ring in the glass when you're done. Then you add in about a cup of sugar and some butter. I would say about two heaping tablespoons of butter ought to do the trick. Before you serve it, you mix up some democrat sauce to spoon over it and make the portions small, you wouldn't want to overdo that stuff. It's powerful."

"Democrat sauce, Sir?" I asked.

"I'll explain this a bit more in a minute but I learned this recipe from an old hillbilly. Anyway, to make the democrat sauce you need some good Wisconsin cheese sautéed in prune juice."

"Oh, that doesn't sound good to me!" I complained.

He laughed and said, "It's a sure thing for binding you to the party but keeping you as loose as a goose!"

He took the time to explain that during a previous period of economic distress the government had subsidized Wisconsin dairy farmers and in return had obtained tons of cheese they distributed as commodities to people in need of food stamps. He didn't give me any time to reply as he climbed up into his truck. He was laughing so hard he could barely get himself positioned behind the steering wheel. I watched him until he was out of sight and he was laughing until he was completely out of my view.

I thought this job was going to be boring.......

© Dianna Doles Petry